


Desperation

by soldiermom1973



Series: 1,000 years (A Reconciliation Story) [21]
Category: Mass Effect (Comics), Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect - Various Authors, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: 1000 years, Angst, Desperation, F/M, N7 Month 2019, N7 month, Resurrection, Shenko - Freeform, horizon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:47:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21523168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldiermom1973/pseuds/soldiermom1973
Summary: Allie Shepard was dead, wasn't she?  Kaidan heard the rumors she wasn't, though....
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Allie Shepard, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Series: 1,000 years (A Reconciliation Story) [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1460416
Kudos: 9





	Desperation

**Author's Note:**

> For [N7 Month](https://n7month.tumblr.com/post/188450175349/n7-month-challenge) over on tumblr; the prompt was 'Desperation'.
> 
> I thought this would be a perfect time to touch a bit on Horizon. I planned on writing a more fleshed out story about Allie & Kaidan's interaction there, but for now, this will suffice.

They were rumors. Nothing more.

Commander Allie Shepard had been sighted on the Citadel. Omega. Illium.

There were grainy vids and blurry holos of someone who looked an awful lot like her, but she was dead, so it couldn't be.

He _listened_ to her die. He _heard_ her take her last breaths.

His heart shattered at the quiet desperation in her voice as she tried to fix the bleed in her O2 line,,, then the resignation when she knew she couldn't.

Kaidan took his concerns to Councilor Anderson, who gave him the brush off. “I've heard the same rumors, Commander,” he'd shrug, then change the subject. Surely if Allie were alive and if she'd been seen on the Citadel, it was because she paid her mentor a visit, right? The fact Anderson didn't answer directly either way made Kaidan wonder if maybe the rumors were true.

He sat on the couch that night, surrounded by empty bottles, wishing for once he could feel even a little buzz to help numb the pain of thinking Allie was alive and hadn't bothered to reach out to him. He flipped through holos and vids of the time they spent together – early shots from when she'd just been made a Spectre, holos of her and the rest of the crew goofing off, spending shore leave together, later pics and vids of just the two of them, after they'd beaten Saren.

Her smile was so bright, her eyes shone when she looked at him. He'd never felt like that about anyone before, not even Rahna. He thought she felt the same way, but if the rumors were true, why didn't she contact him? Why would she let him continue to suffer and mourn her death?

He screamed and threw his bottle against the wall, clutching at his head. She wouldn't do that to him. If she was alive, she would have told him. She would have reached out.

They were just rumors. They had to be.

Commander Allie Shepard was dead. Kaidan heard her die.

And the dead just don't come back to life.

* * *

They weren't just rumors.

Allie stood in front of him, tears in her eyes as she begged him to believe her, to believe _in_ her again. Garrus was with her, which gave Kaidan pause... either what she was saying was true or Garrus had somehow been brainwashed or something.

He turned away from her, confused, conflicted, and at a complete loss of what to do. His heart wanted to turn to her, embrace her, and follow her into whatever hell she was headed to, but his brain was screaming this wasn't right... none of this was right. Allie Shepard was dead.

Then came the plea, the desperation in her voice as she appealed to his memory of their history together. “You know me, Kaidan,” she begged. “You know I'm doing this because there is no other option.”

He paused and hung his head, his heart battling with his brain about what to do. Maybe this was why Anderson was vague. He knew Allie and Kaidan were in love with each other, so maybe he hid this from him to protect him.

But why didn't Allie reach out? She said she'd been in a coma for two years... but she had gear. She had a ship. She found Garrus and that krogan standing behind her. She had resources.

She had time.

She had time, but she never contacted him.

“I'll never join Cerberus,” he murmured over his shoulder. “I know where my loyalties lie.”

His brain had decided, then.

The rumors were true. Commander Allie Shepard was alive.

The dead did come back to life... sometimes.


End file.
